Monday, January 29, 2007

Hello people!

I am back everyone!

Did you miss me?!

Alright, since i'm in a good mood. I'm going to blog one of those really really insanely stupid posts.

HERE GOES!

Today, the topic will be..

PANTIES!

ZOMG! THAT'S LIKE MY FAIVORAIT SUBJEK!



OOOOOO K!!!!

LEEEEEEET'S A GOGO!

Panties.. The bringer of light, the undergarments of the goddess, the secret lust that God has towards such tight garments..

YES PANTIES!

What I cherish and love so much.. Hmm...

I'm about to unleash my almost-darkest-sexiest-horniest-murkiest-mokgobjaiest secret ever..

MUSIC INTRO!!

-DUUUN!! DUN DUN DUUUUUN DOOOOON!!!! BOOM BAAAM!! BOOM BOM BAAAARMM!!!-

HOW TO.......... STEAL.......... PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANTIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!!!


Ok. LADIES WHO READ THIS! IF YOU KNOW ME YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY! IT'S JUST ONE.. OR MAYBE TWO PAIRS OF PANTIES MISSING!
... xD

Ok ok. Let us begin the preparations..


STEP ONE!
-------------
To steal, you will need nimbleness... Stealth, speed, persuasion, and lust!! LUST!!! A LOT OF LUST!!

Yes my friends, you need lust.. HOW DOES ONE TRAIN ONE'S LUST?! Many people ask. Ahh, this is but one of the obstacles you need to pass [sharks, piranhas, dragons, magical dildos ect ect.].

To train one's lust, you must have concentration, will, the love for panties, the lust for women, and a frying pan.

Why a frying pan!? Well, to hit yourself with.. You need endurance! From the women! In case you get caught, they will pummel you with all they've got. Pillows, blankets, plushies, bras and even..... THEIR USED TAMPONS! ZOMG ZOMG!!!

Ok. Just do as you are told and you will be fine.

In order to begin the training, you must hit yourself with a frying pan over and over and over again. At least 17 times a day for two months. If you survive, and still isn't retarded, YOU PASSED THE FIRST TEST! CONGRATULATIONS! YAY! WOOOHOOO!!

... BUT IT'S NOT DONE YET!

Moving on to....


STEP TWO!
-------------
Women have an accute sense of smell. The slightest whiff of NERD AURA and B.O WILL DRIVE THEM INSANE!! IT WILL MAKE THEM JOIN AS ONE AND STAMPEDE ON YOU OVER AND OVER AGAIN!

You need the right type of... Smell to get inside their domain. Not just ANY smell, it is.. THE SMELL! Yes. THE smell.

What is THE smell you all ask. Well, THE smell is the smell that women prefers the most. It actually depends on what type of SMELL your target prefers. If they like cologne, just dab a little on yourself and you're in for the FIRST ROUND. If they like perfume, spray a little. If they like lasagna, well.. DON'T PUT IT ON YOURSELF MORON! BAKE ONE FOR THEM!

Yeah. It's that simple. All you need is the right moves and you'll be in round one.

.... IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH SMELLS IF YOU UNDERSTOOD ME AND PAID ATTENTION!

MOVING ON TO...


STEP THREE!
---------------
Simple as step two, you need the right gear. Sexy pants, a nice shirt, a hot belt, a pair of socks, a little hair gel, and a nice wallet.

You see, girls prefer to see men in their... Best attire. Colour synchronization is IMPORTANT! Black DOES NOT MATCH WITH PURPLE!!! PINK DOES NOT MATCH BROWN! You see? All you need is a sense of staaaille~

Yes STYLE! It's not a hard "sense" to develop. It's like.. Checking for nose pickings in the morning, or... checking whether your pits are smelling bad or not. It's simple, really!

Now once you've accomplished this and impressed the girl, you're one step closer into HER PANTY DRAWER!



STEP FOUR!
--------------
With the right moves and the right style, all you're lacking now is.. The suaveness of a gentleman.

Yes. The SUAVENESS of a GENTLEman. You ask, OMFGWTFBBQHAXZOMGBUTTSECKS! HOW ON EARTH CAN SOMEONE DEVELOP THIS!? IT'S IMPROBABLE, NO WAIT, IMPOSSSSSSIIBBLLEEEE!!!

WRONG YOU FOOL! I WILL PWN JOO WITH MY SHAFT OF FURY!!!!!

And THAT is an example of what a gentleman is NOT!

If you were a gentleman, you would reply with a simple,



"Fuck you."


EASY BEING A GENTLEMAN EH!?

Now you've had the final ingredient.. You are finally, THE ULTIMATE POWARZ!!



AND THAT IS HOW YOU BAKE COOKIES!

TEH ENDZZ!!

LOLOLOL!!

I WASTED YOUR TIME!

Oh well! HOPE YOU HAD A GOOD LAUGH!

XD

BYE!

Friday, January 26, 2007

Yay!

Ok, from now onwards, I will blog more often.

... Ok. This counts as a post because i'm in school now, and i'm lazy.

.... HORNY BUTTSECKS! D=<

Ok. xD

.... BYE!