Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Sunday, November 05, 2006
Pointless, rantuh-ings.. ZOMG THAT'S GAY!
Hello everyone, welcome.
.... Well, I guess.. It's time..
FOR MY POINTLESS RANTINGS!! WOOOOOOHOOOO!!!
YEEEEEEEEEHAAAAW COWBOIS!!!!
... YES THAT WAS REALLY GAY!!!
Aaaaanyways, heeeere we gooooo!!
Hmm... What shall I rant about.. I've done the peanuts thing, OH YEAH! I GOT IT!!!
Let's talk about... HOW TO LIE TO YOUR PARENTS ABOUT YOUR RESULTS WHICH REALLY SUCK AND THEY KNOW BUT THEY JUST WANT TO PRETEND AND--- [breath]---[/breath] THEY LIKE EGGS!
Ok. So, this is kinda typical isn't it? You "did your best" in an examination, but, for some reason... THEY SUCKED!! YOU GOT 9 F's! ZOMG! Why is it like that you ask yourself!?
COULD IT HAVE BEEN THAT BLOODY TIME YOU SPENT TO PLAY COMPUTER GAMES ALL DAY!??! .... Naaah!!!!! IT CAN'T BE!!! GAMES HELP YOU!! YEEEEESSSS!!!!!!!
.... PREEEEEEEECIOUSSSSSS!!!!
Well, typically, again, you'll be anxiously waiting for the mailman to come [or at least, students that suck ass in studies and happen to be in Sri KDU.] and put the results and other crap [such as junk mail, chain mail, adult sex web coupons.. ect ect..]. You'd probably be so "anxious" you'd be standing at your mail box from about... 8:30 AM to... 29:30 ZM. ... Wait, WTF IS 29:30 ZM!?!?!?!?
... Weeeell it doesn't matter! So, you wait for the mailman, as he is coming, you will feel a sudden adrenaline rush shooting throughout your body, a powerful urge; similiar to the peanuts one, except this is for mail; and you decide to ready yourself. So you prone on the floor, or even hide in the rubbish bin which is a secret lair for evil villains who eat chicken rice leftovers, MWAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Well, so yeah, the mail man arrives, he sees you, and he goes like "Eh boy/girl.. I have your results right here... You know... I... Have... Your.. Results.." And as he says that, he'll start jerking around, and get spasms. But you can't handle the pressure, you just hit him in the crotch, or in case the mailman is a woman, jab her soft subtle nipples, and leave her/him in a paralyzed state. With the technique of the Dragon's Flaming-Ass-Sucking-Tit-Licking-Penis-Slapping-Anus-Piercing-Tongue-of-Doom technique; which you will recieve if you send in 99.99 pounds per month for fifteen years to the address stated... What? I'M NOT GIVING YOU MY ADDRESS!!!!; You will jab the right spots, HUUUUIIIIYAAAAH! One here, two there, five to the left, twenty-five to the right, and he/she is down! TECHNICAL FOUL! WHAT!!??! THIS AIN'T BOXING BEEEESH!!! HIIIIIAAAAAAYAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!
... Ok, that's enough now.
So, you get the results, your parents are in the house, you see no place to dispose of the results, so you decide, the toilet bowl in your parent's room is the best but for some reason you just don't want to use your toilet or the one downstairs or throw the bloody results to the rubbish bins, so it's time... For some STEALTH!!! METAL GEAR SOLID STYLE!!!
So, first, you need your M-16's, RPG's, Tranquilizers, Night Vision Goggles, a pair of really hot military pants, a tight white shirt, some of your grandmother's face enhancing cream that never works but makes your face look black for some stupid reason, a belt with the buckle saying "I LOVE PEANUTS! YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!", and finally, a...
R
U
B
B
E
R
D
U
C
K
!
Yes. A rubber duck, IT'S FUCKING IMPORTANT THAT YOU HAVE THE FUCKING DUCK OK!!?!?
So, you begin your mission, as you enter the house, you realize something, the maids you hired, the same ones you told to wash your clothings and feed you, they stare at you as you enter, but don't be caught off guard, DON'T!!!!!!! BECAUSE THEY'RE ACTUALLY RUSSIACHINALAYAKUZALASKIAN SPIES!!!!! HOLY SHIT THAT WAS HARD TO PRONOUNCE! BUT TECHNICALLY I CAN'T PRONOUNCE IT BECAUSE I'M TYPING THIS!
Take them out with your Tranquilizers, a shot at their arms would do, though SOME SICK BASTARDS WANT TO GRAB THEIR BOOBIES, NO! YOU FUCKING FOOL!!!!! YOU MUSN'T!! Once they're out, drag their body, and roll them down a hill, though it's advisable you take some pot before you do so, so that you'd have no mercy. With only 199.95 pounds a month, you can get a big bag of pot, FOR FREE!
Once the job is done, proceed into slicing into the home security system. Though it looks like a normal pad to press numbers and activate the alarm, DON'T BE FUCKING FOOLED! BASH THE SUCKA!! BASH IT FUCKING GOOOOD!!! YEAAAAAAH DESTROY IT!!! WOOOOO!!!! At that time, you would've tripped the alarm, but fear not, prepare your rubber duck, YES! Toss the rubber duck, though it's very hard.. Yes, I know.. The squeak is sooo adorable~~ <3
... WTF!! DON'T!! JUST THROW THE MOTHER F***ER!!!! YEAAAH! BOOOOM!!!! EXPLOSION OF A RUBBER DUCK!!!
... Yeah, so you took out... Well you took nothing out, you just threw a rubber duck for nuts, so, YEAH YOU FOOO!!! YOU WASTED A TACTICAL NUKE! Ok.
The rubber duck is thrown, and exploded into oblivion, let us have a moment of silence.
......
........
...........
..............
OK THAT'S ENOUGH OF SILENCE! YOU GAY OR SOMETHING!?
Aaaanyways, it's time to take out, the trash. If you have a sibling, whether older or younger, he/she IS YOUR ENEMY!! Take some of that cream, yeah, the BLACK CREAM! The cream that yo grand mama uses to beautify herself, AND BOMBARD YOUR SIBLING WITH IT!!!! NO BUNKERS ARE NEEDED! JUST THROW THE SHIT OUT OF YOURSELF!! LITERALLY!!! IF YOU HAVE FAECES USE THEM!! YEAAAAAAAAH!!! BOOM!!! SPLAT!!! SMELLY-BOOM!
Ok. Now, finally, your parent's room. DON'T TAKE OUT YOUR PARENTS!!! IT'S EXTREMELY IMPORTANT THAT YOU DON'T! BECAUSE THAT DESTROYS THE WHOLE PURPOSE OF THROWING THE RESULTS! So, your parents are inside their room, watching TV, taking a nap, doing... ewww... OK ENOUGH OF THAT!
So your parents are engaging in activities, you must NOT be distracted from your mission, to hear the beautiful melody of your ASS SUCKING RESULTS being flushed down into your parent's toilet. No stealth is needed here, just say, "Mom, dad, I need to shit in your toilet, so... Uhh... Yeah." And your parents would be like "Why not use the one downstairs? Or your own even?" And the BEST comeback would be "Shut up." And they'd be like "ZOMG!! I'M SOOOOOO SAAAWRRRIIE!!! OKAAAAAAY!!?!?! I'M SO SAWRIE!!! T_T T_T T_T T_T!!!! PL34$3 4G1V3 MIIII!!!!11111oneoneoneonetwotwotwooneone!!!111" And you'd be like, "Mom, why are you talking like that? Saying P, L, three, four, dolar, three just to say please is scary." And they'd be like "Shut up." And you just go to the toilet anyways, so, you carefully aim with precision, use your measuring tools if needed, coordinates are usually 34,51. SO AIM WELL!! Once you've aimed it properly, and braced yourself... DROP THAT SUCKAAA!!! WOOOO!!! As it glides into the toilet bowl, you realize, IT'S GOING OFF COURSE! OMFG!! WHAT DO YOU DO!?!?!?!?!?!? Well, it's easy, first, shout "HAHAHAHA CHICKEN BUTTS RHYME WITH SHIKEN... FUTTS!!! AHAHAHAHA!" THEN!!! YOU QUICKLY WITH EXTREME SPEED AND AGILITY GRAB THE PAPER!!! YES!! GRAB THE SUCKA!! AND WITH A POWERFUL THRUST, YOU CHUCK THAT SUCKA INTO THE BOWL!!! YEAAAH!!! CHUCK IT GOOOOD!!! And finally, press the button, OF FLUSHY-NESS!! MWAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAH!!!!!!!oneoneoneone1111twotwotwotwo22222!!!!
YOU MADE IT!! CONGRATULATIONS!! OMG!! I'M SO PROUD OF YOU SOLDIER!! YOU ARE NOW AN OFFICIAL MEMBER OF THE CLOCK-BREAKING-BOTTLE-SUCKING-WEBCAM-CYBERSEXING-CLUB! YAAAY!!
..... Yay!
...... CHICKEN BUTTS RHYME WITH SHIKEN FUTTS!!
..... YEAAAAH!
.... Well, I guess.. It's time..
FOR MY POINTLESS RANTINGS!! WOOOOOOHOOOO!!!
YEEEEEEEEEHAAAAW COWBOIS!!!!
... YES THAT WAS REALLY GAY!!!
Aaaaanyways, heeeere we gooooo!!
Hmm... What shall I rant about.. I've done the peanuts thing, OH YEAH! I GOT IT!!!
Let's talk about... HOW TO LIE TO YOUR PARENTS ABOUT YOUR RESULTS WHICH REALLY SUCK AND THEY KNOW BUT THEY JUST WANT TO PRETEND AND--- [breath]---[/breath] THEY LIKE EGGS!
Ok. So, this is kinda typical isn't it? You "did your best" in an examination, but, for some reason... THEY SUCKED!! YOU GOT 9 F's! ZOMG! Why is it like that you ask yourself!?
COULD IT HAVE BEEN THAT BLOODY TIME YOU SPENT TO PLAY COMPUTER GAMES ALL DAY!??! .... Naaah!!!!! IT CAN'T BE!!! GAMES HELP YOU!! YEEEEESSSS!!!!!!!
.... PREEEEEEEECIOUSSSSSS!!!!
Well, typically, again, you'll be anxiously waiting for the mailman to come [or at least, students that suck ass in studies and happen to be in Sri KDU.] and put the results and other crap [such as junk mail, chain mail, adult sex web coupons.. ect ect..]. You'd probably be so "anxious" you'd be standing at your mail box from about... 8:30 AM to... 29:30 ZM. ... Wait, WTF IS 29:30 ZM!?!?!?!?
... Weeeell it doesn't matter! So, you wait for the mailman, as he is coming, you will feel a sudden adrenaline rush shooting throughout your body, a powerful urge; similiar to the peanuts one, except this is for mail; and you decide to ready yourself. So you prone on the floor, or even hide in the rubbish bin which is a secret lair for evil villains who eat chicken rice leftovers, MWAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Well, so yeah, the mail man arrives, he sees you, and he goes like "Eh boy/girl.. I have your results right here... You know... I... Have... Your.. Results.." And as he says that, he'll start jerking around, and get spasms. But you can't handle the pressure, you just hit him in the crotch, or in case the mailman is a woman, jab her soft subtle nipples, and leave her/him in a paralyzed state. With the technique of the Dragon's Flaming-Ass-Sucking-Tit-Licking-Penis-Slapping-Anus-Piercing-Tongue-of-Doom technique; which you will recieve if you send in 99.99 pounds per month for fifteen years to the address stated... What? I'M NOT GIVING YOU MY ADDRESS!!!!; You will jab the right spots, HUUUUIIIIYAAAAH! One here, two there, five to the left, twenty-five to the right, and he/she is down! TECHNICAL FOUL! WHAT!!??! THIS AIN'T BOXING BEEEESH!!! HIIIIIAAAAAAYAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!
... Ok, that's enough now.
So, you get the results, your parents are in the house, you see no place to dispose of the results, so you decide, the toilet bowl in your parent's room is the best but for some reason you just don't want to use your toilet or the one downstairs or throw the bloody results to the rubbish bins, so it's time... For some STEALTH!!! METAL GEAR SOLID STYLE!!!
So, first, you need your M-16's, RPG's, Tranquilizers, Night Vision Goggles, a pair of really hot military pants, a tight white shirt, some of your grandmother's face enhancing cream that never works but makes your face look black for some stupid reason, a belt with the buckle saying "I LOVE PEANUTS! YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!", and finally, a...
R
U
B
B
E
R
D
U
C
K
!
Yes. A rubber duck, IT'S FUCKING IMPORTANT THAT YOU HAVE THE FUCKING DUCK OK!!?!?
So, you begin your mission, as you enter the house, you realize something, the maids you hired, the same ones you told to wash your clothings and feed you, they stare at you as you enter, but don't be caught off guard, DON'T!!!!!!! BECAUSE THEY'RE ACTUALLY RUSSIACHINALAYAKUZALASKIAN SPIES!!!!! HOLY SHIT THAT WAS HARD TO PRONOUNCE! BUT TECHNICALLY I CAN'T PRONOUNCE IT BECAUSE I'M TYPING THIS!
Take them out with your Tranquilizers, a shot at their arms would do, though SOME SICK BASTARDS WANT TO GRAB THEIR BOOBIES, NO! YOU FUCKING FOOL!!!!! YOU MUSN'T!! Once they're out, drag their body, and roll them down a hill, though it's advisable you take some pot before you do so, so that you'd have no mercy. With only 199.95 pounds a month, you can get a big bag of pot, FOR FREE!
Once the job is done, proceed into slicing into the home security system. Though it looks like a normal pad to press numbers and activate the alarm, DON'T BE FUCKING FOOLED! BASH THE SUCKA!! BASH IT FUCKING GOOOOD!!! YEAAAAAAH DESTROY IT!!! WOOOOO!!!! At that time, you would've tripped the alarm, but fear not, prepare your rubber duck, YES! Toss the rubber duck, though it's very hard.. Yes, I know.. The squeak is sooo adorable~~ <3
... WTF!! DON'T!! JUST THROW THE MOTHER F***ER!!!! YEAAAH! BOOOOM!!!! EXPLOSION OF A RUBBER DUCK!!!
... Yeah, so you took out... Well you took nothing out, you just threw a rubber duck for nuts, so, YEAH YOU FOOO!!! YOU WASTED A TACTICAL NUKE! Ok.
The rubber duck is thrown, and exploded into oblivion, let us have a moment of silence.
......
........
...........
..............
OK THAT'S ENOUGH OF SILENCE! YOU GAY OR SOMETHING!?
Aaaanyways, it's time to take out, the trash. If you have a sibling, whether older or younger, he/she IS YOUR ENEMY!! Take some of that cream, yeah, the BLACK CREAM! The cream that yo grand mama uses to beautify herself, AND BOMBARD YOUR SIBLING WITH IT!!!! NO BUNKERS ARE NEEDED! JUST THROW THE SHIT OUT OF YOURSELF!! LITERALLY!!! IF YOU HAVE FAECES USE THEM!! YEAAAAAAAAH!!! BOOM!!! SPLAT!!! SMELLY-BOOM!
Ok. Now, finally, your parent's room. DON'T TAKE OUT YOUR PARENTS!!! IT'S EXTREMELY IMPORTANT THAT YOU DON'T! BECAUSE THAT DESTROYS THE WHOLE PURPOSE OF THROWING THE RESULTS! So, your parents are inside their room, watching TV, taking a nap, doing... ewww... OK ENOUGH OF THAT!
So your parents are engaging in activities, you must NOT be distracted from your mission, to hear the beautiful melody of your ASS SUCKING RESULTS being flushed down into your parent's toilet. No stealth is needed here, just say, "Mom, dad, I need to shit in your toilet, so... Uhh... Yeah." And your parents would be like "Why not use the one downstairs? Or your own even?" And the BEST comeback would be "Shut up." And they'd be like "ZOMG!! I'M SOOOOOO SAAAWRRRIIE!!! OKAAAAAAY!!?!?! I'M SO SAWRIE!!! T_T T_T T_T T_T!!!! PL34$3 4G1V3 MIIII!!!!11111oneoneoneonetwotwotwooneone!!!111" And you'd be like, "Mom, why are you talking like that? Saying P, L, three, four, dolar, three just to say please is scary." And they'd be like "Shut up." And you just go to the toilet anyways, so, you carefully aim with precision, use your measuring tools if needed, coordinates are usually 34,51. SO AIM WELL!! Once you've aimed it properly, and braced yourself... DROP THAT SUCKAAA!!! WOOOO!!! As it glides into the toilet bowl, you realize, IT'S GOING OFF COURSE! OMFG!! WHAT DO YOU DO!?!?!?!?!?!? Well, it's easy, first, shout "HAHAHAHA CHICKEN BUTTS RHYME WITH SHIKEN... FUTTS!!! AHAHAHAHA!" THEN!!! YOU QUICKLY WITH EXTREME SPEED AND AGILITY GRAB THE PAPER!!! YES!! GRAB THE SUCKA!! AND WITH A POWERFUL THRUST, YOU CHUCK THAT SUCKA INTO THE BOWL!!! YEAAAH!!! CHUCK IT GOOOOD!!! And finally, press the button, OF FLUSHY-NESS!! MWAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAH!!!!!!!oneoneoneone1111twotwotwotwo22222!!!!
YOU MADE IT!! CONGRATULATIONS!! OMG!! I'M SO PROUD OF YOU SOLDIER!! YOU ARE NOW AN OFFICIAL MEMBER OF THE CLOCK-BREAKING-BOTTLE-SUCKING-WEBCAM-CYBERSEXING-CLUB! YAAAY!!
..... Yay!
...... CHICKEN BUTTS RHYME WITH SHIKEN FUTTS!!
..... YEAAAAH!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
